You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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