apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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