My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My vagina just clenched in fear
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
