One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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