I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Every concussion has its silver lining
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
