This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you had me at cake vodka
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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