So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
