Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
