I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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