In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You're a waste of cheezeits
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
