my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
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As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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