What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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