Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
