do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
