I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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