Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
