His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize