i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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