whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
