So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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