i don't like sucking hair
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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