where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
