I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize