some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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