covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
