I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize