theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
