I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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