i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
