It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
