it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
