Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Are my feet made of real feet?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
