you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
