Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Apparently you make a good broom.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
