You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just pee around me
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
