Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
