By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize