one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize