shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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