Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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