How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
