I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize