Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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