Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
