Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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