If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
