I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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