dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You left your phone here
Wait...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
