If i come over, it means nothing
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
