All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
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the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
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Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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