Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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