New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
