She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
