i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize