It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
