Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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