Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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