This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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