if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
