You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think my moral compass just broke
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
