My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
